But it turns out that there is another, previously
unstated, reason for our gathering. That doesn’t surprise me, that is the way
it always goes here. Someone comes to bring us a bag of oranges, to greet us
because they just happened to be in Dogbo, to thank me for a fine sermon last
Sunday, or whatever. And once that is out of the way, and we begin to edge
towards the front of our chairs in order to rise, inevitably there is the: o, yes, one other little thing, monsieur
Pasteur… And 9 times out of 10 it has something to do with money. Money
they need and I probably have.
This afternoon the well-planned afterthought is also
about money. Money for the reception after the handing out of their diplomas in
July. This money has been in discussion for a long time. And yes, in their
perception it is truly a necessity. They had negotiated an considerable amount
with my predecessor and included it as a budget amendment proposal to DVN-Gowa
for 2012, back in October. For various reasons there had been no response to
the amendment, and they had assumed that there would be no objection. However,
about three months ago I had had to inform them not to get their hopes up. And
after much discussion, there and here, last week they received DVN-Gowa’s final
decision: good stewardship financial support is only given for what is strictly
necessary. If they feel that a reception is very important, fine, but it is up
to themselves to find the money.
To European ears and mind, this position is eminently
sensible. To the Africans around the table this afternoon incomprehensible. And
if I, their Pasteur, would perhaps be willing to mediate. All stops were pulled
out, from flattery to righteous indignation. I listened, expressed every
sympathy (with both positions), and concluded that I was not going to
intervene. I explained why. And they accepted that. Though I gave them no hope
of success, they themselves would try to contact headquarters. Their problem,
not mine.
All of this is preface to what, in my mind, was the
most important accomplishment of the afternoon. I said to them: brothers, this is an example of something
very important which you need to realise. Not the question of whether you do or
don’t receive the money you would like. But the difference between how you and
we arrive at conclusions. And then we had a very good discussion about
cultural differences and their impact on the decision-making process. I said: it strikes me that you have a more or less
circular way of arriving. You talk and talk and talk again, take a position and
then alter it again when a new partner enters the discussion, and you keeping
moving around and around until you arrive at a consensus, a compromise which
everyone can live with. For you it is hugely important that every participant
in the discussion takes ownership of the outcome. Your relations are the most
important thing. And therefore you find it quite normal to start again, after
all the negotiations are concluded, if the outcome doesn’t please someone.
They looked at me and confirmed what I had said. Of course, their faces read. That’s
the only way to do business. And then I continued. A European doesn’t think like that, I said. I’m not saying that our way is better, but it is certainly different.
A European is much more focussed on the
goal, the answer to the original question, the target. We can talk a lot too,
but we more or less follow a straight line. From here to there. Along the way
we gather all the arguments that each person has to contribute. And then we
draw our conclusion. Finis! (This is the short version of the lesson, of
course.) Some comprehension dawned. You
mean, said Salomon, when the visitors
from Holland were here earlier this month, they were gathering the arguments which
we had to contribute? And that was the end of our turn? I was impressed. Exactly, I said. And that is why I do
not expect any change in the decision.
We continued our discussion. I drew two circles, one
overlapping the other about one third of the way. Here: this is us, your brothers and sisters in the Netherlands. And here: this is you, our fellow Christians
in Africa. We are partners in God’s kingdom. But can only work well together in
this area which overlaps. We will only become hopelessly frustrated if you, or
we, try to demand things or impose things which lie outside of the overlap. The
importance you attach to ceremonies is in your own part of your circle. We do
not, and will never share that. And there are plenty of things in our own part
of our circle which you do not need to adopt. I am here, with you, in this
middle part which we share, to work with you. And that’s the way it should be.
I’m not pretending that we achieved full
comprehension. But I do think that an important lesson was learned, in part.
And I am excited to be agent for change here in that way. I love and respect my
African brothers. And I hope that I will become worthy of their love and
respect in return. But they are they. And I am I. Long live the overlap. And vive la différence!
Hi Joe,
ReplyDeletewas thinking that that reasoning would benefit us westerners too - making venn diagrams, as we have such strong differing opinions within our own people. Love and respect can stand while we meet where mutually beneficial. Praying your work continues with much understanding from both sides!
So beautiful that this can be examined with respect for both sides. Definitely not the traditional missionary way ....
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Wow! That is so intriguing! I learned an important lesson, too! Thank you for that, Joe. You are such a unique teacher. Mum would be so proud! Co
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